There is a difference. A real, meaningful difference.
Hearing is passive. Sound enters your ears and registers. But listening? Listening is an active choice. It is a gift you give to another person.
You have two ears and one mouth. Use them in that proportion. It sounds simple. It isn’t.
Real listening means putting down your phone, stopping the internal commentary in your own head, and actually being present with the person in front of you. It means noticing not just the words but the tone, the hesitation, the thing they’re trying to say but haven’t quite found yet.
When someone opens up to you, really opens up — be proud that they chose you. They came to you for a reason. Digest what you are hearing. Let it settle before you respond. You don’t always need to fix things. Sometimes people just need to be heard.
And here is the inner work that connects to this — when you journal, you are learning to listen to yourself. Your handwriting on the page surfaces thoughts and feelings that your noisy, distracted mind can’t always access. The wellbeing benefit of this is enormous. When you are connected to your own inner voice, you become a far better listener to others. You’re not trying to manage the conversation from your own unprocessed feelings. You’re actually there, present, open.
Kindness, in my book, is always number one. And the kindest thing you can often do for someone is simply to listen.